07 July 2013

DEFENSE v "solvent" v LIES, eg: "stay in Ames through high school"


pp 215 - 224,  Chapter 26 in Book Three:  The Opera:  We Were Mothers Once, And Young

“Okaaaay, Herry.  Am I about to rebut just nearly all of this “hard evidence” that are actually your lies … or what!  These four A, B, C, D sections, Jury?   Readers?  These – all four of them – constitute the crime of perjury, Jury!  Just, however, the first of many, many, many such, very same crimes of it, specifically for perjury from Iowa Code, Chapter 720.2, said chapter in general entitled, “Interference with Judicial Process!” 

I am trying not to laugh too hard here because it truly is conflagrant to me.  But I can’t help it.  This was choice.  “O shit, Herry!  Smooth.  Smooooth.  Ms. Frumpy Custody Evaluator Canard heard all of this smooooth, too, I am so certain.  Jury?  Do you know the characteristics, even just a handful of them if not all of ‘em, of the typical wife batterer?  That’s ‘batter’ as in the crime of battery.  Well … one, just one of them, is, and is as old as androcentrism itself is:  throw it aaaall back on her!  Everything that she says about me?  Deny, deny, deny and particularly project it all back onto her –– that of which she is trying to state about me.  And, for sure, because it is a he – said / she – said situation and she will not be the one believed if it is smooth enough and particularly when it involves a man and his spermary, a pillared one at that, why never, never, never admit wrong or error or that what she says could be even remotely true.  And, voila, you are home free, Mother - Fucker! free! of her, I’m telling ya’.” That’s pretty much the characteristic … also verbatim! right out of any women’s shelter handbook regarding batterers – except for the last – sentence, name – for – daddee embellishment there:  that one would be all mine …  that the Good and Wonderful Doctor Herod Edinsmaier is a literal Mother – Fucker!

But, otherwise, this is the researches’ and statistical reality:  fathers and their gametes are not to be messed with.  Both are only to be exalted.  Sperm exaltation.  Father and fatherhood exaltation.   

I say, “O O O … kay then.  Just exactly who is coming out here from the courtroom or from after examining the ‘sworn – to’ documents submitted to The Court’s files … coming out here into this, The Real World, and bringing back to daJudge, bringing back from it, The Real World that is, to Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor, the absolute proof of the Truth of any of Herry’s muuuultiple avowals here, Jury?  Readers?  Who?  You?  And, furthermore, do you care what lies he’s told you and me?  Do you?  Does the judge?  Really?  Really and actually does daJudge, Judge Seizor, the man who once “legally” forced a first Mrs. Seizor into a certain prison way away from her very own four baby daughters, truly care?  It is easier to lie to and to deceive in an American court of civil law than it is to lie to and to deceive your … __you __ fill __ in __ the __ blank __, Jury.  Of course, depending upon … well, you know the rest of that sentence, too.”

I did not know it then, but I soooo know it now:  Depending upon who you are, it is easier to lie to and to deceive anyone inside an American civil court of law and get away with it than it is to lie to and to deceive one’s own mom and dad.  It is easier to lie to and to deceive an American civil court of law, which, we all know, is a judge or a bunch of ‘em, than it is to lie to and to deceive your own minister, your own teacher, your boss and co – workers, your spouse or even your own child.  It is, mind you, easier to get clean, slick away with lying to and with deceiving an American civil court judge about anything, depending, of course, … depending upon who you are, than it is to lie to and to deceive yourself! 

What the most difficult about rebuttal is … is doing it!  Having to do it at all.  Why should I have to?  Why again and again and again do I have to?  Have to defend myself.  Always, always, always on the defensive throughout the entirety of The Opera.  The whole mother – fucking thing.  This?  This I loathe.  And have, now, long – pledged to myself never –– never … never … never –– to have to do to Herod Edinsmaier inside of any format or venue whatsoever again.  Not one more time.  To defend myself.  No.   

But to You the Jury?  JYeah.  No problem.  One more time again?  This tome, this volume?  Nooooo problem.  In fact:  Ratchet it on up, that very volume!  Bring it on! 

Rebutting then begins, of course, right there within his, the Petitioner’s, Affidavit section A, continues throughout aaaall of Liar Edinsmaier’s four sections and finally ends then with, tah – dah, Respondent’s Affidavit!  That is, my personal history affidavit notarized and dated 10 February 1989!  Which weekday (of course!) date that horrid year happened to be on a Friday. 

So. 

To begin then, “Wha’, Herry?  ‘From 1968 through 1972’ you taught junior high, then suddenly back in Ames you have, you swear, a grad degree in cell biology also in 1972?  But didn’t go to med school until 1975?  That ain’t so at all, now is it, Herry?  No graduate degree #1, Herry – zip, zilch on the master’s degree, right?!  That, well, along with all of your other procrastinations, well, … that just never did happen ever, now did it, Hype – ing Hypocrite Herry?  No diploma ‘tall!  Not even in 1975, which is when you left graduate school after I literally lived with and doctored you day and night, 24 / 7, back to life from a deathly parasitic pulmonary infestation from June 1975, right through till nine days before medical school began in late August 1975, when you were released from Oakdale Sanitarium outside Iowa City to where I’d had Devin drive you at top, breakneck speeds two weeks earlier and he thought those two harrowing hours in the car that you, coughing, gasping, cyanotic and doubled over, … that you were going to die on him right there racing down the interstate.  Okaaay, now that that’s straight, there’s more, isn’t there, Herry?!  How it is I literally saved that sacko’shit life of yours for you, isn’t there?!”  

The tangible –– and screaming –– absence of Herry’s master’s degree in cell biology, something really, really easy to prove, well, did anyone bother ever to bring back to Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor the actual “evidence” of its existence?!  Of its nonexistence? ! ! !   

“In fact, the master’s degree’s nonexistence has, indeed, hasn’t it Hype – ing Hypocrite Herry, just exactly the same nonexistence to it as that of a supposedly earned bachelor’s degree in physics ! ! ! which You, the Good and Wonderful Doctor Edinsmaier, to this day in Grubtrop and in Montclank, West Virginia, also claim to have, at one time, merited and deservedly received ! ! ! – but in point of actual fact, continue several decades later to pad thereby falsifying your medical organizations’ and societies’ résumés with and there state (as well as at these several agencies’ websites!) that you once obtained this alleged physics degree at Iowa State University –– when you soooo never did do? ! ! !  Ha!”   

Of course, we already know the answer to that –– along with all of the other NOT! answers to the very same question after every written affidavit lie and almost all of them, if not all of them, most easily and equally ascertained as false and, therefore, lies and – and – and, therefore too, … the crime of perjury!   Ya’ know, the crime detailed at Iowa Code, Chapter 720.2.  IF only they had been.  IF only that other pillar of the community known as daJudge, Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor, had ordered up the tangible proof  of … what it is … ‘he said’!  

To continue I must just shake my head, “Herry, you of all people:  there is no University of  Missouri – Jefferson City at which you could’ve ever taught, let alone, could have taught full – fucking – time!  And moi?  ‘… hired as Director’?  As ‘director’ of anything?  Sure, Mister, suuuuure … just try to inflate my workplace post so that your monetary, support – to – me amount will be judge – ordered down – down – down … down into the toilet!  Bloat the fucking hell out of my –– actual –– position before I came to Storm County so that here in Ames with all of the veterinary installations here, I can soooo make it without alimony, ‘can’t she, Your Honor?’  I was in my first fucking fledgling year after obtaining the PhD, and my title was nothing fucking more than that of Assistant Professor –– as is everyone’s in their very first year –– and you soooo knew that, the smart guy that you are — with such a passel of quite like – titled siblings at various times and the institutions you’ve been around, let alone … the little, itty – bitty frickin’ fact that      I was your wife, for chris’sake, and wouldn’t you, therefore, know my precise professorial ranking because of just that spousal title and association alone?!” 

More.  “Do you never proofread squat, Dr. Herod Edinsmaier?  You know full fucking well that nothing is ever referred to as ‘veterinarian school’ and yet at least three, if not more, times you term it … exactly that.  How fucking dare you diminish the naming of my educational endeavors when, with your own, you do not – ever – identify it as ‘doctor school’, Herry!  How fucking dare you continue that dissing of me and of my successes … just because you always have before – and in front of all three of my children, too?!?  How dare you?!?  Children whose birth date and, indeed, name you totally fucked up for Jesse and for whom you could never, not one fucking time, get correctly spelled for Zane.  What is up with that, Herry?  That is unforgivable from a blonde and bloodied secretary, let alone, when perpetrated by a goddamn, mother – fucking father.  Children who were never even being considered to be living one damn day, not to mention, ‘raised up’ in Kansas City!  What the fuck is up with that, too, Herry?  We were never even ever going to live or to school the Boys in Kansas City!  That never even fucking came up for discussion between us one time!  Ever!”  What a friggin’ load of fuckcrock from Herod, O He Who Hypes Himself Up! 

Moving into Petitioner’s Affidavit section B with continued and further refutal of “sworn” – to “evidence.”     “So, Herry, you know me so well, huh?  I’m your fucking wife and you can write about me under oath to a judge –– cuz of your wealth of knowledge on my background –– to a fucking courtroom judge, can you?  So if you know me that well, then which was it that I was married to John Silver, two years or was it four years?  Cuz one is, well shit, So – Many – College – Degrees – I – Actually – Never – Had Herry, you’re the mathematician, one is fucking twice as long as the other one, now isn’t it?!  I mean one is 100 fucking percent more than the other one!  So.  Which was it?  Two years?  Or, four years?  And what were you reeeeally stating here, Herry?  Implying just exactly – er well, not very exactly at all really – what, Herry?  What?!  That I’m a bad risk in the wifery category?  Is that really what, Herry?  Since that so is about what you were writing, then where –– also –– is the information to Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor about your busted engagement to Theresa, the one she broke off with you that landed your smashed ego inside Ms. Rebound Edwina’s bed in Cleveland for a few years whilst simultaneously dodging Bass County, Iowa’s draft board ticket to Viet Nam by teaching junior high school in an inner city instead of being soooo draftable were  you to’ve taught in just an ordinary school, one, say, anywhere in Iowa?!  Where’s the whole scoop on   Ms. Theresa, Herry?  Hell, I worked alongside her as an ISU sophomore, same engineering department;   we were hourly workstudies together.  And, furthermore, you knew that I knew her because she and I’d met as student workers there, and I told you this!  So, Herry, she must’ve seen in you a bad husbanding risk, huh, to cleave it off with you and your upcoming nuptials back in the late 1960s?!  But where’s that written and sworn to, too, especially the part about how you wouldn’t ever consider marrying Edwina, no way, no how, never, never, never !!! –– cuz she was, well, what Herry?  Cuz she was what, Racist Herry?!  Cuz she was your great black fuck, wasn’t she, O Pillared One … O Doctor Edinsmaier?  And you told me you wouldn’t even take her home to meet your parents, would you?  Which, of course, you never fucking did do, not even that one christmas eve when Edwina so wanted to come back to Iowa with you and meet all   of your family, you told me.  Not even the fuck then would you bring her back to your kin, O Good and Wonderful Doctor!  Judge Seizor never knew any of this about you though, did he?  daJudge never knew that you’re a sexist and racist, homophobic, whore – mongering pig risk? as a spouse?  in the husbanding category?  Did he?!” … As if it’d’ve mattered to him anyhow … if he had known!  NOT!

Defend, defend, defend –– to which I am forced.   

Or, as icky are Herry’s sugary and honey statements about himself, especially about his fatherly fathering functioning.  Those pieces are so funny to me now.  Then, though, when I read them through the first several times, I was made simply livid by them:  the obvious blatancy at the puffed – up, hyped – up chestiness of himself –– of himself as “accountable Daddy”– to Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor.   

Lumping these into Herry’s quoted phrases, his lies about me of Section B, “Marital History,” are

i)               “suffered from severe reactive depression disorder,”

ii)              “the reason we got married,”

iii)            “she dealt with small animals,” 

iv)             “her hours were from 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m.,”

v)              “so she could nurse them,”

vi)             “Legion then felt the job too stressful, so she quit and began to babysit our children,”

vii)           “my salary as a resident was not enough for us to make financial ends meet, so Legion became employed,”

viii)          “She worked the night round from noon until 10:00 p.m.”,

ix)             “We were forced to employ many different babysitters,”

x)              “In 1982, Legion expressed a desire to become a teaching member … so she enrolled in the University of Missouri,”

xi)             “In June, 1986, Legion graduated,”

xii)           “Because I wanted her to pursue her career, I turned down various jobs and opportunities,”

xiii)          “In 1987, Legion lost her job,”

xiv)          “Legion has remained unemployed since we left Manhattan,”

xv)            “I have made a commitment to my wife that we would stay in Ames and the children would graduate from high school in Ames,”

xvi)          “since my wife Legion is unemployed.”  

Sixteen – regarding me alone!  Supposedly detailing the history of his wedded union Herry’s Section B is – but – almost all about me.  And about me … negatively!  Elaboration on just a few.   

How does one nurse an already weaned child?  Zane had already been weaned!  He and Jesse did go to childcare providers but separate ones; that was one of the reasons I left the house’s door at 7:00 in the morning with two babies to go to a job that didn’t begin formally until 8 in a town only 13 miles away:     so that I could drop off a 2½ – year – old at one place with all that Zane needed and a ½ – year – old at a caretaker of infants, someone different, with all that Baby Jesse needed.  “And You, Herry?!  You friggin’ slept in!  You, O Slacker and Entitled Sperm Donor, you slept in! Then on those same soooo cold, weekday mornings wherein I had dealt with the two babies’ labors, you bundled up only yourself and left the house to go mind – rape vaginal exam models in OB / GYN laboratory!  How hard a daily working parenting routine that must’ve been, huh, Daddee Herry?!”  And – and … I was on call every single day and every single night for six months straight; there was no one else to take call on both large and small animals, not just small animals!  “So, Herry, which of us two arranged for regular childcare?  Which of us arranged for childcare on an emergent basis?  Which of us arranged for childcare – at all?!?!  Is this where you’re again going to project onto yourself that which, really now Self – Centered Herry, that which we truly both know I – and only I – ever, ever did –– since the fucking first time Zane ever needed a sitter?!   

And about the ‘too stressful’ part and that I was a ‘babysitter’ for our own children?  “What the fuck is that, Parent Herry – Daddee?!  I fucking fell down on the cement floor.  Collapsed.  Flattened my exploding breasts right there in front of Miss Evelyn who was in to see me with a half a dozen of her 42 cats!  She’s the one who fucking telephoned the UI Med School Dean’s office to ask them to go find you in class somewhere and have you come collect the dropped corpse on the concrete that was … me.  She’s the one who stayed with me until you got there.  Completely pissed off you were too, ‘member that?  You drove the fucking 13 miles in dead silence.  You didn’t even ask me what I thought could be wrong?  Ya’ know, like say …  exhaustion!  Cuz you didn’t the fuck care what was wrong with me, did you, Husband Herry?  And – and … you didn’t even go back to Solon to pick up Jesse or Zane from their respective care providers after you’d dropped me off at the trailer!  You literal … Mother – Fucker.  Straight up.” 

And as regards our financial ends meeting, did Herry write daJudge about the fact that from $10 per salaried veterinarian hour, I would after taxes, gasoline and childcare costs for three children under five years of age ... I would … I would, winter – and holiday – time 1980, with Mirzah then just 13 months old, Jesse not even 27 months old and Zane himself a mere four years and two months old, I would only clear $2.75 per hour?! ! !  

“I literally begged you, didn’t I, Herry?  Over and over I begged you to borrow for us the money to live on, to borrow from your wealthy, soooo wealthy some of them, older brothers and sisters, from at least one or two or so of the four truly wealthy ones of your ten other siblings, didn’t I, Herry, when we were in Hershey?!  Mirzah was only a year old, Jesse 2 and Zane 4.  And the one word that I got back from you ––     the only one I got back from you –– about our borrowing from any one of these, your four siblings, was what, Herry?!  You remember.  ‘Cept you soooo conveniently forgot to tell Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor this.  That word, for my leaving my babies when I so did not want to but you forced me to instead of our temporarily borrowing from your family –– to clear a measly $2.fucking 75 an hour –– was what Daddee Herry?   

solvent   

You said that $2.75 an hour was enough to keep us “solvent,” didn’t you, You Mother – Fucker?!  All    just to save your fucking face in front of your family.  No matter what my little, little Boys and I wanted.  No fucking small, small matter … that!”   

This ‘we employ’ thing?  I, it was I, wasn’t it Herry, who did absolutely all of the arranging for childcare?  Never the fuck was it ever you!”  Never the fuck any sort of ‘we’ about ANY part of the 26 in – home childcare provider – hires and six daycare facilities over 11 years’ worth, was there now … was there a ‘we’ to doing any of that childcare arranging!  Truthfully, Herry?!  Was there?!   

And the expression of desire to go to Missouri?  This is juuuust choice this particular lie so is!  Herry brought this up, and he fucking brought it up first!  “Big reason why, too, isn’t there, Herry?  Why you so desperately wanted to leave Pennsylvania and move to Missouri, isn’t there? –– Right there in the very middle of your medical residency program?!?  When hardly any such level of resident ever, ever does that?!?  Anywhere?!?  There is a biiiig, big reason why you wanted that, isn’t there, Slacker Herry?  But how come, Herry, how come you did not tell Judge Seizor how it was that Dr. Shark – your supervisor –   at Hershey had repeatedly turned you in to the Pathology Department administration on pink slip warnings?!  For FUCKING UP AS A MEDICAL DOCTOR! ! !  Cuz of YOUR FUCKING POOR, POOR SLACKER WORK HABITS.  Cuz of your fuck – off work habits and procrastinations every single day and not having your work done and god knows what the fuck else!  Like your trouble with taking orders from other men, your passive aggression, your narcissism and maybe they all knew about one – fucking – too – many of your hospital coffee shop tête à têtes with all of your twatly lab techs!  Didn’t they all?  Didn’t Supervisor Shark?!  He knew you to be an utter medical staffer fuckup, didn’t he?!” 

“All of those hours and hours and hours you frittered away.  Squandered, You Fucking Selfish Slacker, so we soooo just ‘had to have a lot of babysitters?’  Fuck that, Herry.  You needed a lot of babysitters, both literally for your sons cuz you so were not there for them.  And, figuratively.  Cuz Dr. Shark and the other bosses couldn’t get you to willingly and cheerfully accept their authority over you and get their assignments to you fucking done correctly and in a timely manner!  Now that is the fucking Truth, and you didn’t think I knew and Judge Seizor sure’s hell didn’t either, did he?!  That it was you who wanted to leave Hershey because you couldn’t get along, and they were about to fucking fire you right there in the fucking middle of your residency, something pretty much unheard of, huh?!  That is why we left Hershey for Missouri –– instead of just my taking graduate classes there!  True that is.  O so head bangingly true it is.  Straight up.”   

And this?  O, this could so easily have been tangibly proved to a judge, too.  Pink fucking slips evidentiarily scripted down regarding Dr. Herod Edinsmaier all over the pink fucking Hershey Medical Center personnel records’ landscape.  But, no –– never any such tangible proof did any judge see.  Or, as a matter of lamentable fact, did any judge care to see.  

I graduate not in June 1986!  “In June 1986?  In June 1986, Lying Herry, I am getting up at 4 am on every single Friday morning to drive four hours from Manhattan over to Columbia to sleep on cushions on my grad student office floor and then drive home Monday nights in June 1986, to be back to attend children before beginning my first assistant professorship which did not start until July 1986.  So no, Herry,              I marched and was hooded on 01 August 1986, after two grueling summer months to finish totally and completely in four fucking years flat – absolutely fricking all there was to an entire PhD dissertation and degree program in Veterinary Microbiology which you cannot even fucking spell correctly – something most persons, female or male, with three babies under five years of age have no idea of even starting, let alone, aren’t capable of finishing.  But I did.  I did that, Herry, didn’t I?  In four fucking years flat I did it all!  And, no … no, no, no.  No, soooo nooooo, thanks for any of it to you.  You, if you did anything at all, Herry, you so hindered me.  You so fucked with me, didn’t you?”   

“Two more I’ll make the effort of which to explain the Truths.  If I can get over laughing so hysterically here.  And those are the bloody ludicrous and mucked – up statements you, Daddee Herry, ... that you made about being ‘unemployed’ when a mama – when a mama anywhere – has three little kids.  That one?!  That one just fucking stands alone, so stupid and loud it is, doesn’t it, Jury?  Soooo stupid!  Soooo patriarchally stupid!”

And about Herry’s commitment to me and to the Truemaier Boys about us all staying in Ames for them to graduate high school?!  I guess really the only explanation necessary here is this one:  this is the mother – fucking first time I’ve ever heard of such a commitment of Herry’s!  In this affidavit, that is!  In other words, Herry, there never was such an avowal of yours for true, was there?!  Never before this affidavit!  You fucking made that one up!  Just to snow daJudge!  Gosh, on that one, too, I just cannot stop laughing.  Except for this reason.  That here?  With this particular lie of yours, Herry?  How could there be such hard – and – fast proof to a judge that there ever really was or there wasn’t such a promise made at all?  It was never written down so, Yeah Jury, it’s one example of the thousands and thousands and thousands all over Acts One, Two and Three of a family civil court phenomenon known as ‘he – said / she – said’.  We shall so read and hear many, many more of these thousands!”    

The lies of Section B about Herry’s involvement as a father with his children are hilariously ridiculous, too.  And, every fucked mother today 14 years out from these of Herry’s, tells me she reads in her “sworn” divorce and custody documents so such the very same ones.  And they get away with them.  Nearly all fathers do today, too.  Fathers, any kind of them, are back to wresting total custody away – that is, they are back to the taking of their perceived “ownership,” their self – directed, self – centered aprovechar – their taking away from biological and other mothers at a rate unparalleled for 75 – some odd years.  But not since before about 1920, or 1930, though.  Except for the last seven decades or so.  In other words, at a rate just the very precise same as that for the last 12 millennia.  Lies like Herry’s, besides the maleness – like – the – pillared – judge thing, are why, too.  

i)                   “Zena” instead of Zane throughout the entire affidavit, not just Section B.  For every instance where Zane is named in Herry’s sworn affidavit, Zane’s alleged “father” doesn’t get my firstborn’s first name correct ever.  Ever.  What does that say?  I mean, what the fuck does that scream?!   

ii)                 “Jesse, born December 15, 1978,”

iii)                “From 1974 through 1978, we jointed shared in all child care responsibilities with the exception of bathing and breastfeeding.  I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and changed diapers. … the time demands required we equally share the child caring responsibilities,”

iv)                “During the 1978-79 school year, I commuted back from Iowa City to Ames every weekend,”

v)                  regarding Hershey, “we needed a babysitter,”

vi)                “because Legion was working nights, I would get up in the morning to care for the children and attend to their morning needs,”

vii)               “However, at night I cared for the children.  At this stage of the boys’ lives, toilet training became important.  Because my wife Legion is deaf in her left ear, when the children would get up in the middle of the night, as they often did, they would come and wake me up and I would tend to their toilet and other nightly needs,” 

viii)             “I became quite involved in taking care of the children during this period of time,”

ix)                “I played a primary role in deciding the choice of school, and the age in which the children would enter school,”

x)                  “I continue to hold their education part of their wellbeing and my main concern in life,”

xi)                “I have done everything I could to help [Zena] accomplish that [art] skill,”

xii)               “On Mondays, Fridays, and on the weekends, however, I helped to those things.  We employed no babysitters on those days I was home,”

xiii)             “I still helped with all child rearing responsibilities,”

xiv)              “I consider the children to be my primary responsibility regardless of how tired I may be ...  But my first commitment is to my kids … I made a commitment to my children that we would stay in Ames and the children would graduate from highschool in Ames.”   

How many are these?  Fourteen?  Just in The Lie Department alone to daJudge, I – I, Legion True ... that’s Doctor Legion True, – I rate more lies about me from Herry than do even all three kids!  Well, that –– that right there must be something upon which to brag, not?!   

But about them, those lies about the kids?  Jesse?  Born 15 December?  “Shit, Herry, that means you up and fucked this mother that I so am right after, well, … probably in the goddamn hospital delivery room, doesn’t it?!  Like the vag exam models you were mind – raping back in med school?  Why do I say that?  Why?  Well, do the frickin’ math, So – Many – Degreed Herry.  How in the hell, if you didn’t fuck me right there and then after I’d immediately just bulldozed Jesse out, then how in the hell did I go on to grow, also propel out and begin lactating Mirzah in just nine months and two weeks later!?!”   

“JYeah, I know you knew I, twice, twice in just that nearly identical four – year length of time, I Legion was gestating and lactating at the very same goddamn time – twice!  Pregnant with Jesse and nursing Zane, then pregnant with Mirzah but yet still nursing Jesse.  Hence, the reason for the exhaustion collapse onto the fucking Solon veterinary practice’s floor with Miss Evelyn, we come to find out the next day when I – alone, of course – visit my doctor, don’t we, Herry?  Don’t we?!  You, Husband Herry, who did absolutely fucking nothing as a spouse, let alone, as a scientist or as a physician about birth – controlling!  But, hey, even for me, being fucked and impregnated right there on the delivery room table in order to shell out Mirzah in just another nine months flat, ... even for me!, that’s damn near mighty fuckin’ miraculous, Mormony Catholic Herry! ! !”   

“So Jesse wasn’t born on 15 December, was he, Herry, but exactly four months earlier than that, wasn’t he, Herry –  that is, on 15 August instead!?  What another hoot!  The so – called “father” of child #2 – and a man of medicine at that – can’t even get Jesse’s fucking birthday, ah, er … that’s Jesse’s birthing day … correct!  Yet I’m the one who went into that courtroom the first and every time after Act One thinking … believing … that this sort of thing would matter to Judge Sol Wacotler Seizor – about who was primary in our lives and for whom were we each primary –– when … it, so very clearly, never did matter!  In just telling this – it becomes even more so when considering all of your lies of how responsible and of how accountable you swear that you were, Herry?  Getting up in the goddamn nighttime with the Boys, getting up in the morning with the Boys and having them ready for the goddamn day.  These?  These lies projecting onto yourself that which I am responsible, truly responsible for, fucking diss me the most – because, god knows and so does every other mother whether single, staying married or becoming single again, that the Boys and I soooo could have used that accountability from you.  Every one of us mothers can, but this daJudge already knows before you even lie to him.  His ‘Honor’, daJudge, has lied to himself about how it is that his ex – wife only ‘babysat’ his four daughters like you, too, called my mothering –– my parenting –– of the very own babies whom I alone … grew! … ‘babysitting,’ Herry.  daJudge tells himself, too, just how splendid and just how fantastic a housekeeper and a mighty fine childcare provider he, too, was.  So when you say you are, you did, you made, you got up, you coached, you drove, you cleaned, you cooked, you encouraged art and mechanics –– you soooo sacrificed your own wants and desires because you gave the Boys your very all –– ?  Why, … you are soooo, so fucking good at it and that you, most importantly here, will now quite definitely keep that all up and that that’s why you should be given full physical care custody, why, fuck Herry, you’re home free with  … with ‘His Honor’:  the goddamn lying – to – his – own – self Mr. Also – Pillared Judge Man!” 
 
“But, hey Herry, you better here not lie toooo goddamn well.  Or, you just might!  You can, for chris’sake!  You can end up having physical care custody of all three of my Truemaier Boys and then you really, really having to do it all alone like I, in Truth, did do!  Ha! Herry!  You better watch it here with this sugar and honey slop of yours to daJudge!  And lastly, Herry, regarding that I – am – so – accountable – to – my – kids lie #iv), the one where you were supposedly commuting back and forth every weekend the year of 1978 to 1979?  What a grueling toll on you that must’ve been:  why, boo – hoo, boo – fucking – hoo, poor you, poor you … Huh?  And so, too, would daJudge so surely think it hard and soooo parentingly committed of you to’ve done, not?  Well, really though, Herry, what about that?  Is that – any of it – True?!  I mean I finished and graduated from veterinary medical school on a Saturday morning in the middle of May 1978, Jesse well long into my belly some six months already with Baby Zane in tow, and began working –— I did –––at the Solon, Iowa, practice the very next Monday morning because we were all, by then, moved and living in that coral – colored trailer on the edge of Iowa City!  Soooo:  why whatever for then, Herry, were you –– as you swear that you were –– driving every mother – fucking weekend back and forth to Ames from 1978 to 1979!?  Weeeell, that just didn’t quite happen that way, did it?  Not for even ooooone weekend did you ‘sacrifice’!  Not even at all!!” 

“Section C is the funniest, though.  Truly.  The Boys are not mentioned so I feel very little sorrow with regard to C and read there, Truly, only the sick humor of Herry’s!  The 51 words about how he drank booze, beer alone it was, Jury, but saw the Light!  And sought the Light!  JYeah, riiiight, Herry, since 1977, you spent all of those years in self – improvement, did you?!?  Noooot!!!  Not since 1977, did you get fucking help from anyone, least of all from alcoholics anonymous or even maintain a membership there!  What a load of crockshit, Herry!”  This would’ve, too, been so easily tangibly proved –– had Judge Seizor simply ordered it to be so tangibly proved –– which, of course, … he soooo did not.  

And C’s entire second paragraph, all only about Dr. Legion True and my long and deep sufferings of bookoo disorders within disorders!  That is so funny.  I never even knew till rereading this now as I typed it that I suffered codependency from Husband #1 John’s problems with drugs!  John smoked pot now and then:  let’s see, back this would’ve been before, during and just after Woodstock to which we hitchhiked together in mid August of 1969, and he did a couple of hits of LSD after that I think and, hhmmm, what else?  Nothing.  Nothing of which I ever knew!  Perhaps he had done more, but I didn’t know of it.  ‘Problems with drugs’ I did not know John to have had; he smoked marijuana but not even that regularly and functioned in his day job as a New York City travel trade magazine writer just fine.  And liked it!      No problems of which I ever knew.  Let alone, of which … I ever told Herry!  “Now?  Now I am having to defend, defend, defend … for a person – John – whom Herod Edinsmaier hasn’t even met!  Never even one time – yet Herry soooo knows, doesn’t he, Your ‘Honor’, … and is, carte blanche, permitted by you to disparage even John!” 

“And not only is there no Regional Substance Abuse Center, but I was the ‘fall of 1987’, Herry, fucking coaching Mirzah’s soccer team, the one for which you so flamboyantly volunteered to be the coach, wasn’t I?!  But you only showed up twice! Two times only!  And then with no funky soccer mamas to scope out, suddenly you couldn’t, by its season’s very third practice, … you, Dr. Herod Edinsmaier, you just couldn’t seem to get away to coach anymore at all! … so that I went on to do all of your sessions that entire autumn.  I never had any time for therapy:  I was working!  As a parent!  As … the primary parent!” 

“And ‘the violent temper’ pronouncement?  Here was more projection onto me, Jury, and, this time, all of the blame, too!  Let’s recap here for real, Herry.  The Truth.  On this thing, Herry, deal.  Deal with it.  Straight up.  Literally dead serious.”   

“I am not the one here, Herry, who goes ballistic at the mere mention in your earshot vicinity of the two words, ‘gay guy’, am I?  Not only am I the veterinarian and you the pathologist, I the caretaker and healer of living creatures not even able to tell me what feels wrong with them and you the dead – carver and tissue – splitter who doesn’t even have to try to relate to his ‘patients’ –– literally –– at all; but it was you, Doctor – “Healer” Herod Edinsmaier, you, Herry, who actually handed that mother at the Columbia morgue door her very own dead three – year – old child, naked, without so much as a crib sheet covering its lifeless corpse.  That was you, too, Dr. Edinsmaier, you who right out loud mocked and chortled, you who snorted and sneered and sniggered at me every single time I spoke to you or anyone else within your range of hearing about … the mother – child bond.  At that ––  at the bond between child and mother –– you Herry, you actually fucking laughed.  Every single time.  Must be why, Herry, you could actually threaten both Zane and me with Zane’s death, couldn’t you?  Besides the violence of your woman – hating pornography that you consumed with my little ones, you actually threatened to kill my child, too, didn’t you, Herry?  And just the very year before!  So I am not talking about the cold, late November when Robyn and Robin, thank goodness, were home when I so needed them, am I, cuz that happened in Columbia in the presence of all three of my even littler sons then, didn’t it?  When you physically hoisted me up onto your shoulder and flung me over your back like a bag of feed or a sack of some much shittin’ waste.  And threw me out of my home.  My own home.  You, “The Good Doctor,” did that, and then you up and locked me clean out of it.  For two days and two cold, November nights.  Away from my home and away from my babies.  And I had to ask my friends, Robyn and Robin, for a temporary place to crash!  No, Herry, I’m not talking about your earlier years of brutality, tyranny and terrorism; I’m talking about Othello Drive right here in Ames –– inside it and behind it.  How come ya’ left this one out of your affidavit to daJudge Man, Herry?  It’s not like a year later when writing and submitting this affidavit to ‘The Court,’ ya’ couldn’t’ve remembered having perped it,    is it?!  You threatened to hurl Zane into the swollen and raging and so freezing Squaw Creek behind our home in the damned Brookside Forest that last spring of 1988.  With Jesse who was 9 and Mirzah just 8 huddled and gaping on together back up on the deck, Herry.  So afraid they were that you were coming back up there for the two of them next.  So was I!  You were going to throw them in, too, weren’t you?    Or threaten to.  And we all knew it.  It was just a matter of your coming back up there to the deck for them, too.  I am down on my mother – fucking knees clinging to Zane’s legs … begging and begging and begging You, the Good and Wonderful Doctor, not to kill him.  This, followed it was by your ever, ever famous snide smirkface squint of … ‘Gotcha, Bitch!’, this death threat of killing my childafter Zane, just age 11, had jumped up onto your back trying his damnedest to get you, Daddy Dearest, offof me!  You had me, Dear Doctor Sperm Donor of my children, pinned down – your knee crushing my breastbone – to the master bed with your raised and clenched fist threatening my left periorbital bone, eye, forehead and cheek, hadn’t you?!  You whirled up and around, swept up Zane and ran with him, him now pinned into your clutch to the riverbank with me rushing and begging behind and Jesse and Mirzah staring on aghast and so full of fear.  You did that, Herry.  You and you alone.  Just the year before this very affidavit!  Your children come first, do they?  At all times even?  So accountable are you with their responsibilities, are you?  Just right on top of it at all times?  Riiiiiight, Dr. Edinsmaier, I’ll say you are.  You just keep on telling daJudge that fuck.  You know he never checks for sure, does he?  You know that.  For certain you do, doncha’?”   

These pillared male judges about whom Dr. Herod Edinsmaier soooo, so looks quite like?  Why, they’ll never, never, ever check out Liar Herry’s stories for how real, for how True – or not – they are, will they?!  “You so, so know this one wee fact, don’t you?!  They will not.  So it ends up, doesn’t it, O Great Fathering One … that cuz of who you actually resemble in maleness and in pillaredness, … … that it is soooo, soooo easy to lie to and to deceive anyone inside an American civil court of ‘law’ and get clean, slick away with it, isn’t it?!  You literal Mother – Fucker!” 

“So much for short, short section C.  On to D.  Its lies.  i) ‘in 1985, she gathered the children around and told them they would never see me again until they were 16.  This caused two of our children to run away from home for a short period of time.’  Truth?  Truth is, isn’t it, Herry:  Zane ran away because I gathered him around and told him he couldn’t go off fishing by himself at Robyn and Robin’s that afternoon!  And that I wasn’t able to take him out fishing to Finger Lakes State Park either.  And when – in his running away – he got as far away as the busy, eight – lane intersection about four blocks from our duplex, he paused for several minutes, then even angrier because there was no way he could get across it, Zane turned around and trudged back on home.  And how do I know any of this, Herry?  How?  Isn’t it because Jesse and I told you what he and I were really doing while all of this was happening to Zane?  The two of us, Jesse and I, had gathered ourselves, hadn’t we Herry, into the Shitbox Dodge and were following Zane out of his view, Jesse beside me on the front seat, and both of us saw this entire display, didn’t we?!  Then we also told you that both of us witnessed from a side street where we were parked something else most disconcerting:  that when a Columbia cop drove right by Zane in that July heat and saw him all covered up there on the corner in his heavy winter parka packing a fishing pole and a bunch of other gear but with no winter and no frozen – over pond anywhere within that hot summer’s sight, that cop still didn’t do a thing.  He didn’t even pull over and stop to talk to Zane and ask him what was up.  We told you all of this when you got home!  It was 1985 all right so Zane, being all of 9 years of age, looked only that old to anyone.  Especially, we thought, to a lawman.  Jesse, only 7, even remarked on it:  that how could a policeman drive on by a little kid dressed like that and packing belongings and obviously looking like he was trying to cross a busy, busy highway and not even notice?!  Now that is what really happened!  That’s what the Truth is, isn’t it, Herry?!  And, furthermore, it was I and Jesse who were keeping guard over Zane.  It was never, never, never you, Daddee – Herry, who was safekeeping Zane – ever!” 

And as regards lie #ii) the minimal access?  “Why, Herry, you know why that really happened, you pornography perv!!!  It is easier to lie to and to deceive in an American court of civil law, isn’t it?  I gave them over to your mother – fucking, perverted ‘fatherly care’ up till early January 1989, every single friggin’ weekend for over 48 hours and then, well, you would not stop with your true addiction.  You wouldn’t even try.  You wouldn’t even try to stop – or go to get help to try to cease with it.  Fuck, you won’t even acknowledge it to this day – let alone, the crimes of providing pornography to minor children, O Pillared Daddee!  So, hell, was I to endanger the Boys longer than that?!  I think not!!!” 

Little did I know then what Rachel has since so succinctly stated, “And don’t you forget it, Legion:  there jus’ ain’t no judge who doesn’t surf porn himself!”  Rachel is, well, right on the very mark, isn’t she?  “And not only the judges, is it Herry?  It was Mr. Jazzy Jinx himself, my attorney, whose den, like yours Herry, also contained Playboy for his – and for who else’s, for all we know – for his casual off hours’ perusal.  It was Mr. Jazzy Jinx who, himself physically manhandling me, rammed me –— his very own client, for chris’sake! –— upside the inside of his slammed office door and bellowed at me, ‘Shut up, Legion!  Now you just shut up ‘bout this sex addiction stuff!  You’re so exasperating, Legion!  You have to shut up about this, you hear me!  Cuz, cuz, a … ah … ah … a lotta nice people read Playboy, Legion.  An’ ah, ah, it isn’t gonna play well.  In court I mean.  You can’t be saying this stuff in court, I’m tellin’ ya!  It just won’t play there at all!  Believe me!’  Even though it was The Fucking Truth, it wouldn’t play well there in court Jinx had just fucking admitted, Herry.  Soooo, how would I know about his own goddamn den, do ya’ suppose, Herry?  S’pose someone else who knows pornography’s pernicious deadliness told me about it when she happened to be there in it – Jinx’s den – when at his own home visiting?  S’pose someone – other than I! – thinks pornography in the hands of little children is a … well, what, Herry?  What would that be, Herry, d’ya’s’pose?!  Try the word ‘crime’!  We think it’s a mother – fucking crime, Herry, don’t we, Realtor Madonna and I do?!  As regards ‘the safety and wellbeing of children and moral climate’ of section fucking D, Herry?”   

Pornography, any form of it, in the hands of, let alone in the subscribed – to name of, minor children are the crimes of child endangerment and child abuse.  That is what it really is.  “But daJudge, even my own lawyer besides yours, Herry, and of course, you yourself, Daddy Herry Dearest?  Were you all going to point all of your fingers back at yourselves ever?  More accurately, were they each ever going to stop this woman – loathing act?  O, let’s just fucking summon up the First Amendment here.  The one no woman ever had a hand or voice in constructing, that First Amendment.  And the one that, when constructed, was never done so by those men with the intent by any of them that it would also work for the Not Males, the DEhumans, the females.  Just summon it up.  And, ‘Move the hell on,’ Jinx was so loud, so angry and soooo hands – on that afternoon.   One thing more I can now say with the staunchest of strength, conviction and will, ‘Herry, just whoooooa!  You just back the fuck up here.  Nooooo invoking the First Amendment with me you don’t, not any bloody damn more, you don’t!  No fucking First Amendment on this with me, Herry Daddee.  Not with me.  How dare you entitle this section D anything –– anything at all –– about the so – called, alleged safety or wellbeing or moral climate for kids.  The very kids who were sperm DNA – spawned by you.  How mother – fucking dare you, Herod Edinsmaier, You Child – Molesting Criminal!’”              *    *    *    *

30 March 2013

AmTaham True, the Ancestral Father, died this day: 30 March 1992


Epilogue


The Jury is So  .NOT.  Out on This Daddee … … Any Longer

“ … … don't care about children


to the Editor of the Charleston Gazette:

After the Sandy Hook shootings, did we hear any senator or congressman say something like, "I will do anything I can, work with anyone who will help,               oppose whomever resists, never caring who gets credit to assure that a tragedy like this never happens again!"

Instead, our elected leaders reacted with the expected deference to the NRA and Wayne LaPierre, with statements like:  "...the bad guys are still going to get weapons." (McKinley); "They [the media] will, one by one, put up pictures of dead children.  They will show the carnage." (Manchin)

 By contrast, teachers at the school went toward the shooter without armor, weapons or backup, and several were killed.  I believe there are teachers in every school in America who would risk their lives to protect children, but it seems our politicians won't even risk their chances at re-election.

Herod Edinsmaier, Grubtrop, 22 February 2013”

A hook is many things, one of which is a landform shaped such that its sand or dirt or other ground type spits out in to and, thus, can partially or nearly encircle around some of the body of water and that water’s contents to which that specific dirt extends.  In this epilogue’s explanation, similarly the Good and Wonderful Former (middle school) Teacher and Now Doctor Herod Edinsmaier himself serves, Jury, as that metaphoric – ensnaring hook.  This man, this daddee, this “father” attempts –– with his vague and weak missive to a newspaper’s editor after the OUTRAGE which were the kiddos’ killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School a couple of months’ time back –– ever so succinctly and subtly to hook onto and snatch up much of your thinking brains in order to excuse away his historic behavior which so gravely and evilly impacted several other people’s lives with utter carnage, those of both adults and children alike.

My closest friend in the World –– you, Jury, know of her from back within Chapter Five / Friends and from within Chapter Thirteen / Finishing School (her Listening College) for Fathers –– told me when she, Ms Grace Portia, read Hypocrite Herry’s chatty hooking blather exactly one month after it was published, “I guess Herod needs to profess what he’s done ‘to protect’ children.” 

Friend Grace is referring to not only that one OUTRAGE of Patriarch Edinsmaier’s androcentric, asinine and criminal entitlement of himself near Chapter Twenty – Nine’s conclusion whereat he, an adult male modeling an allegedly accountable fathering role, literally leads Dr. Legion True’s two minor Boys, Jesse then just labeled with bipolar brain, and Mirzah, right into, onto and throughout another woman’s property, not only without her permission but also without the DEhuman even being present at her own residence, for his and the teenage Boys’ motherfucking, dissing – of – all – women’s and mocking purpose of home invasion, stealing and subsequently absconding with my (from AmTaham True’s) guns kept and stored there in Friend Linda’s basement –––– but Grace also refers in that one wee profundity of hers regarding King Herod and his ‘fatherly protection’ … … to absolutely all.all.all of The Opera:  We Were Mothers Once, and Young, that is, to what Smug Thuggish, Elitist, Terrorist and Savage Herod Edinsmaier has unconstitutionally and criminally perpetrated upon me and upon my Three Boys within, and outside of, the states’ custody court system throughout all of the many decades’ worth of Hypocrite Herry’s comings and goings and thinkings and doings.

Within the scathing dissent of Appellate Judge Pansy Shawshank’s first page’s first half and immediately succeeding Legion’s second appeal (Act Three, Part Five of The Opera !) completely written, all of it printed off in to its mandated ! 21 total copies ! with Dr. True’s never missing in the appeal’s unfolding sequence even one correct document’s file – stamping nor even one deadline therefor and orally argued by herself –– ! pro se ! –– before the three – judge panel of Tuesday, 07 June 1994’s Iowa Court of Appeals, Judge Shawshank states thus:  “LOOKING AT THE RECORD BEFORE US IN THIS APPEAL,

I DO NOT THINK WE COULD HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG

WHEN WE PREDICTED HEROD WOULD HELP THE CHILDREN DEVELOP A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH PARENTS.  I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE FROM THE RECORD BEFORE US THAT AFTER HEROD RECEIVED PHYSICAL CARE, HE AND HIS CURRENT WIFE ENGAGED IN A COURSE OF CONDUCT DESIGNED TO TOTALLY CUT LEGION OFF FROM HER THREE YOUNG SONS WHO HAVE CONTINUALLY DECLARED THEY WISH TO BE IN THEIR MOTHER’S CUSTODY.”                            

Ms Pansy here, of course, writes of the “verdict,” the decisioning about children’s parenting and their well - being by three men of the State, only one of whom had heard Legion True’s second appeal.  Yes, you, Jury, guessed him:  Allen Donnellson.  Donnellson, the dirty dude who had perped That Very B I I I I G, Big Mistake from The Opera’s First Appeal (Act Two Part Three) wherein all three of those men had unconstitutionally decided that Hypocrite Herry actually be the Truemaier Boys’ custodial, read that, ‘protecting’ … … daddee. 

Know this especially though, Jury:  that of those three appellate judges’ verdict after Legion True’s second appeal?  TWO of those three, Judge Pansy Shawshank and the quite newly appointed Judge Barry L. Crowrook, rule in favor of restoring full custody back to Dr. True.  2 to 1 the Truemaier Boys’ mama prevails!

Dr. Legion True WINS back full custody of her three Truemaier Boys:  Jesse, Mirzah and Zane !

Only when that Court of Appeals’ Chief Donnellson, similarly pillared in the eyes of the Iowa community as the Good and Wonderful Dr. Edinsmaier considers himself to be so statured, … … only when Dastard Donnellson, because he as daMan possesses the corrupting, aprovechar – taking and blindingly absolute power in his little “justice” – system keystrokes to do so, invokes and hooks in to this second appellate decisioning two more additional but different judges, also patriarchs and who previously had had nothing at all to do with the True appeal and who had heard of it no arguments whatsoever and because, primarily, To The Cuntly DEhuman, Dr. Legion True, There Is No Mother – Fucking Way, Ever, That Judge Donnellson of the First Appeal Is Going To Admit Having Committed Such a Carnage – Wrecking Mistake as His Declaring Herod Edinsmaier Any Kind of An Actual Father, … … is Vengeance – Taking and Hypocrite Herry through years and years’ worth of his trying to hoodwink and hook You, the Operatic Audience – Jury, in ––– actually “legally” capable of causing the children who are the three Truemaier Boys and all of their lives ––– now by an androcentric “verdict” of 3 to 2 against Legion True ––– to be lost to the mother and causing their mother, the DEhuman, to be for all of their youths invisible, then never existent to Mirzah, Zane and Jesse. 

Daddee Herry Edinsmaier’s Gutting – of – the – Bitch Butchery, Jury.

The bones of this Displaced Wartime Refugee’s True Father who is Righteous Ancestor AmTaham … … rest.

But only because, now, they are of osseous ash and carbonaceous dust. 

Not because, Jury, of any justice at any time anywhere done to or for this matter, My Case:  The Opera, of the True Father’s Child:  the Ancestor – in – Training and, now, One Woman Well Put Together, Legion True.          

True it is.  O, so head – bangingly true it is !  “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” 

--- Patrick Swayze portraying the film role of Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing, 1987               - fin-                 

22 December 2012

Hardly boring, the flag flies on my 65th birthday ! Y e s, it does !

And today, often a cycle’s Winter Solstice, Willard Albert William Maas, too, would have been 93 years old. Adversely affecting far too many of all of these years, there had existed a savage and smug thug, a terrorist about whom Daddy was well acquainted in the reality that had been his favored daughter’s life, a Mr Harold (rhymes with Ger’ ’d) Skimpole – like criminal of arrested development, vainglorious hypocrisy, an attention – seeker of ruthless and relentless unaccountability. http://www.firstthings.com/article/2008/08/004-the-skimpole-syndrome-childhood-unlimited-49 Chapter 18, The Company One’s Mind Keeps, pages 121 – 126, Mother – Fucking: “Mirzah, Jesse, Zane and I hadn’t seen AmTaham and Mehitable in a little while, maybe 2½ months or more. It had not been since I rented the honkin’ big black video camera for Zane to film his Grandpa AmTaham as his Kate Mitchell History Day project which he took to State later in Des Moines and actually there won second place with it! The theme for that last spring’s event, really a rather big deal, in the fifth grades around the State of Iowa had been to develop with documentation a piece of some kind, like a video or a poster board or a picture album or an extensive report, about a very, very important person to you in history. Well, this was right up the Ancestor – in – Training alley of mine although this was Zane’s deal and picking as his very, very important person his Grandpa AmTaham had entirely been all of his own thinking and choice. Others in the class, of course, picked Einstein or Gandhi or a few women, too, ... I should think – although I myself actually had heard of none selected. But Zane had settled quite early on on making his History Day project submission a video in which he interviewed his Grandpa AmTaham who, to Zane and to Jesse, probably couldn’t have been more interesting or more important in their lives if he had outright otherwise tried to be. Zane and Jesse, even youngest Mirzah, although Mirzah simply hadn’t had as much time on the Planet to get to know his Grandpa AmTaham as had Jesse and Zane, completely and with abandon adored their Grandpa AmTaham. With us all finally living in Ames now, he and Mehitable resided only two hours down the interstate from us; and he and Zane and Jesse and I couldn’t have been happier about this fact. Herry, of course, ignored my daddy thinking him a bumbling country bumpkin idiot hayseed because he wasn’t wealthy, not even at least by his elder years, like his own farmer father was. I say that that was Herry’s opinion because, some time later, I actually read just about those exact words in Herry’s own handwriting. I didn’t need to read it somewhere, though; to me about his thinking on Ancestor AmTaham Dr. Herod Edinsmaier made no bones. Usually, doesn’t the husband always joke about himself and his mother – in – law –— with respect to their relationships with one another? Particularly if that relationship is known to be sour or, in the very least of ways, unsatisfactory? Not with Herry. The entire time I knew the man both before and after I was married to him and, later, divorced from him ... all of that time ... the one parent of mine whom Herry at all times wholly loathed in every way possible was my father, AmTaham True. I know now that all of Herod Edinsmaier’s hatred of AmTaham was borne out of Dr. Edinsmaier’s own incredible narcissistic need for attention and his quenchless insecurities. AmTaham simply threatened the beYesus out of Herry. True it was and couldn’t have been truer: AmTaham was not rich in material fortune and booty – loot treasure and was never going to be. From off of the same scripted page as the bumpkin idiot hayseed comment of his, Dr. Edinsmaier deplored what he considered to be a coming ‘fact’ in his future: that he, Herry, because he was married to me, would have to be responsible in some financial way, let alone, in actual physical elder care, for both Mehitable and AmTaham in their old, old age. And that thinking of his, that this actual work of taking care of his in – laws would, in some manner, be his fate even before AmTaham or Mehitable were in any way at all either physically or financially incapacitated, vexed Herry no end. While AmTaham was never going to roll in the dough, he did embody everything else –– and did so with such ease, grace and honor –– that Herry himself was never, ever going to be. Simply for starters, AmTaham was gorgeous even as an older man and, finally, an old man. And, as you can imagine then, too, as a young suitor of my mother and soldier in uniform or garbed in his usual rugged livery of blue jeans, flannel shirt and denim barn coat, AmTaham was a stunner. As a three – year – old and a 13 – year – old and a 33 – year – old, I thought AmTaham True the awesomest composition of adult human maleness ever, ever orchestrated. He was tall, 6’2”. His were the always, always completely uncovered coal shocks of thick, slightly wavy, long black hair, the chiseled and ruddy cheekbones, the magnificent nose and the confident countenance and bravura of a true Ancestor in the making. AmTaham True. Zane in his early 20s recently returned from a several months’ – long, hiking Wanderjahr around Guatemala bringing back with him a certain blackish marble statue of a Mayan which he had found there and produced out of his walkabout carryall to present to me for inspection. By chance, he handed it to me sideways; and, immediately, it was immeasurably unmistakable to us both when I pointed out the phenomenal resemblance. This was the bust of Z’s late Grandpa AmTaham which, until that revelation, Zane himself had not seen but was, no doubt, accountable at least in part for the pull behind his incentive to purchase the image in the first place! Then there was the brain of this man. AmTaham knew everything. Everything important enough to be known before one was deceased and, therefore, truly a Righteous Ancestor, that’s for sure. I mean that most seriously. A steel trap. He spoke German at home before he did English. He read and read and read and never stopped reading until, literally, seconds before he dropped dead. This reading habit he started, too, long before he began walking to school. At age five, six or seven years when his own father, Great – Grandpa Zebulon for the accomplishing of certain chores couldn’t find AmTaham, the eldest of six children, next one in line being a brother, then four littler sisters, why, Great – Grandpa’s first place to look for AmTaham was the hayloft of the 80 – acre True homestead’s great centerpiece, the colossal red barn with the hayfork machinery which was so, so fascinating to watch in operation. AmTaham stockpiled a passel of books up in one corner of it just beneath the wide, wizened flap of a wooden loft door which allowed the great and warm light of the slowly setting sun to shed into the mow from the western sky in the late afternoons following school. The most prized and oft – examined book AmTaham devoured up there day in and day out was certainly not any of the several bible versions or other scriptures of the surrounding christian neighborhood but, instead, Noah Webster’s Dictionary. AmTaham True owned a vocabulary that I, to this day, have never known any other to match. He not only knew the words’ meanings but exercised the expressions, always, always in the manner of the Queen’s own English, into his ordinary daily speech whether hand – milking Camel his forehead gently resting against her right caramel – colored flank or climbing aboard the Oliver 88 to head out west across the fecund expanse hauling behind him the equally green 12 – row planter or saying grace and giving thanks to, for him, a non – existent Allah over his family’s entire supper of white breadcrumbs topped with Karo Syrup and Camel’s milk. This praxis was not in the least meant to impress nor boast nor claim renown nor just to even engage another in conversation. AmTaham didn’t possess the voracious neediness for others’ attention and accolades that Herry Edinsmaier so desperately did. AmTaham only wanted, for himself, to remember the things that he had studied. Therefore, to do that he actually used those bits and pieces of knowledge in his everyday life as often as it took for him to not forget them. The same was true of his love for classical music. Two of his three tractors, both of the Olivers, each had a wooden shelf secured and wired through holes drilled into their green, left, back – wheel fenders on which sat a large, black contraption that daily, as a matter of fact, captured the broadcast waves from the student – run radio station, WSUI, at the nearby university in Iowa City. So. During the decade that was the 1950s as he disked and plowed and harrowed and planted and cultivated, AmTaham True reeeallly ... cultivated. That steel – trap mind of his. Out there on the plains at top decibel in order to be able to hear above the engine din, AmTaham, over half deaf himself anyhow from his participation in the pandemonium that had been World War II, harvested a whole agri – culture of Bach and Mozart and Beethoven and Tchaikovsky and Liszt and Chopin or Brahms. He could name for you in the very first few opening bars and measures what work, what concerto, what symphony and what opus number the next piece playing on his funky audio contrivances was and which composer created it. Much in the same fashion that we four teenagers of his could identify all the pop songs and artists that blared out from the rock stations of the real radios we kept by our beds upstairs! Speaking of teenagers, before we kids passed that infamous operator’s examination and obtained our own independent drivers’ licenses at 16 years of age here in Iowa, AmTaham had to do all of the lawful chauffeuring of us to and from our activities when the schedules of all of them did not jive with the times the school bus could rurally deliver us home. Mehitable, legally blind, since that floor – varnishing incident in my toddlerhood when her retinae one day suddenly and permanently detached bilaterally, could not drive me nor my friends anywhere. This was AmTaham’s sole duty for all four of his children throughout our pre – driving junior high and high school years which, necessarily, put quite a time – constraining burden on to him as a matter of fact. Occasionally, but not at all too often, I would ask AmTaham to drive one, two or all three of my best girlfriends, Diana, Kirsten and Lorelee, home from play practice, our Troy Tip – Toppers 4 – H Club or the Junior Achievement business meeting. When he did, his asking any of them for directions to their streets or the most rare of moments when he contributed to the conversations or offered up an initial comment from his chauffeur’s seat about any topic such as on how the 4 – H or JA projects were progressing, Kirsten, Lorelee and Diana ended up mute in short order. They very nearly hadn’t a clue as to what the man had just asked them or stated to their thin air, the vocabulary used in making these general comments of his completely beyond them. All four of us girls were almost always straight – A students and highly competitive so each was not about to let the others of us in on her own personal secret, that is, that each one of us pretty much had no friggin’ idea what Mr. True with his lexicon was saying up there in the front seat. Therefore, our best course of action to save face and ourselves from mortal embarrassment was to stay shut up! We might actually have learned something more, from him that is, if we did remain quiet anyway! While AmTaham, I am sure, harbored no inkling nor intent to cause any of us girls shame in our ignorance, his lexis and elocution were always such – impeccable, that is – that our safest plan was to ride along together rather proper – like for young ladies in those days, that is of course, voiceless I mean. It could also be said that I, Legion, rather reveled in my silence in this singular scenery inside the car instead of being at all discomfited by it. Lorelee’s mama and daddy were farmers, too; but those other two friends of mine had suited and monied businessmen for fathers; and my pa’s flawless eloquence only served to show them both that some folks whom they and their families may have, as a matter of course and classism, automatically written off as hickish, dullard – like grovelers in the ground ... weren’t. Though I knew better than to ever –– right out loud –– compare Herry to AmTaham and vice versa on any of their mutual or exclusive attributes and was so careful to never do that when I was still in Herry’s life, there was, at the least if not more, one more extraordinarily major difference between these two atheist men: their morals. Herry was, well, basically amoral. Without them at all. Looking back I believe that I must’ve known this from the git – go. I now take full culpability for having – deep, deep down – known this fact up front and for still wanting to have such an evil a man as he comport himself as my loving and genuine husband and my most precious children’s father. Like I have written before, I cannot believe, with my brilliant brain that I was so ignobly idiotic, so reprehensibly impolitic and so stupidly bedazzled. Herry wasn’t the first bad boy that I’d lit out after. And had. Dr. Herod Edinsmaier was just the first one who had had at least two pages of book smarts to him, and that characteristic alone weightily attracted me to Herry in the first place. Very soon on, Herod’s facility to develop and support a mediocre to above – average conversation or somewhat reasoned explanation on interesting stuff and current affairs became the justification that would exculpate him, in my eyes, from all of those other ugly and routine traits of his, lubricious, licentious and woman – hating though they clearly were from the start. Matters sexual and misogynistic weren’t the only spheres of Herry’s dishonor either. This, too, I knew early on. Herry drank lots and lots of beer up until 1977; but, way, way worse than that, he drove numerous times after drinking. Most regularly Herry drove drunk his own cars, an old beater, blue – green van and various motorcycles, also big dump trucks belonging not to him at all but to construction companies for which he, at one time before I knew him, had worked. And joked often and long about his talent and penchant for hiding his incapacitation to operate a 2,000 – pound, and sometimes much weightier, weapon on the road … safely. Especially from the local fuzz. Truly and more than one time, Dr. Herod Edinsmaier actually guffawed about it. This, in an educated man approaching 30 years of age. In one who full – well knew exactly what the crime was which he was perpetrating every single time he chose to commit it. One of Herod Edinsmaier’s favorite stories was of his strapping on a set of chains to the rear tires of that old 60s Chevy van of his in near total darkness and a deluging downpour in order to give that vehicle traction enough to hustle it up and out of a shallow ditch in an area of town that separated the campus from the city’s residential divisions. The site of this incident took place, as a matter of fact, only about a ¼ of a mile from the same picture – window pad Herod had purchased out of which to view that Brookside Forest. Right under the scrutinizing noses of a city policeman and a university cop both of whom had stopped alongside Herry to see what his trouble was, Herry later and often bragged about accomplishing the chain thing, freeing up his van and driving it off into the rainy night, then, without either one of the law enforcement officials ever catching on to the fact that he was completely smashed and had run off the road not because of their wet conditions but because he’d been driving drunk. Driving drunk will eventually get someone crippled or killed. Even George W had to admit to that much about four days before he was (sort of) elected to the highest office in the Land. But we all know, don’t we, that it and its legal penalties against sloshed and criminally endangering fathers driving their own or others’ infants, for example, four – month – old Zane or Abby’s and Devin’s wee daughter, seem to be forgettable or purchasable … depending, of course, just like perjury and lying in a state’s district court are also forgettable or purchasable … , on how the hell pillared in either position or parents’ pedigree you, Mister, happen to be at the time! AmTaham’s knowledge was spread around not just to the works of art and artists, that is, to fine literature and finer music. I would have to say that he knew so much because he read so much. Maybe AmTaham would have watched more television if he had not been so deaf, that is, if he had been better able to hear the TV. As it was, AmTaham was somewhat hard of hearing most of his 30s and very deaf after the age of about 40 years, 60 percent gone in one ear and 40 percent more loss in the other the doctors at the Veteran’s Hospital in Iowa City told him. His sense of hearing, they said, lessened initially because of the war; and then the machinery of his farming vocation fostered no support whatsoever and only served to further the deterioration of the auditory nerves bilaterally. In no way was his related at all genetically or hereditarily to the complete deafness in my left ear which, indeed, was itself actually teratogenic in origin. That is to say, mine had been due to Mehitable’s having been infected with the German measles virus while she was pregnant with me which she, to this day, denies. Pretty much like Herry she is in that Denial Department there. Curiously and expectantly enough, of course, the Veteran’s Administration of the federal government of the country he fought other testosteronal human beings in defense of, though admitting that AmTaham’s diagnosis of deafness was war – induced, had nothing to offer him, ever, in the way of either cure, palliation or ... compensation ... for it. For its loss. So. AmTaham read. He read instead of viewing television or seeking out social conversation and interaction. Another disrelish of Herry’s about AmTaham. Because whereas Herry read a lot himself all right, Herry also depended greatly and often, multiple times a day actually, upon the admiration and regard from others and, most especially, upon their engagement, the attention which he took from them –— so borne out of that neediness and narcissism of his as witnessed by his ten hours a week in Alcoholics Anonymous in addition to all of the procrastinating away from actual and sometimes solitary pathology work which he did during the workday with a host of those subordinate co – workers, very many of them female. Herry was basically Mr. Glib Guy. Loquacious. A popinjay. ‘Course, then, in the evenings, when all of the residents and other docs were home cooking supper or grocery – shopping or bathing their babes or washing the kids’ and the spouse’s laundry or even helping Zane with his first year of keyboard music practice in Hershey and then also Jesse and Mirzah, too, with all three of their Suzuki piano programs in Columbia a year later, Dr. Edinsmaier was either back at the lab at the hospital finishing the things he should’ve completed during his daytimes there or else off somewhere with one or more of those other women either from work or from AA. Rosemarie, our most belovéd child caregiver, years later, had had many, many words to say to me about this – all of which she’d kept to herself until she learned, sometime after the fact, that we were no longer ‘a family’. Herry’s utter absence from the Truemaier Boys those weekday evenings when I was out working the three different part – time veterinary practices in Pennsylvania, she’d always found consternating. Especially since Rosemarie knew that the other children’s parents, who lived right there in the same housing complex as did we and were also in pathology residencies, were themselves all at home nights and did not require caregivers whatsoever for their kids such as Dr. Edinsmaier, however, always seemed to have need of ... every single evening. AmTaham didn’t give a damn if he did or he didn’t talk with someone else; and he certainly never gave one hang what anyone else thought of him so, often, preferred the sole company for days upon days that could stretch into weeks of that particular friend of his who lived right inside his own skin to that of anyone else. AmTaham was by no means antisocial nor did he loathe or shun social interaction. He loved it. So long as … once others knew that he was quite deaf … AmTaham was given by them the respect due him to actively engage him –– because of the way that he heard differently from most of them –– in their conversations. This though was, of course, work that Herod Edinsmaier, all of the time during which he was a part of the True family, just up and completely refused whatsoever to do for either AmTaham or for me in our deafness. Herry loathed our physical challenges and Mehitable’s legal blindness, too, and simply would have none of it nor the remembering of it so, by his own purposeful design, decidedly distanced himself from us. Besides the Trues’ assertiveness, convictions and willingness to do hard work being a threat to Herry, we were also … less than. We were an embarrassment. All of us. A classic classist shame we Trues were. Why should he, the Good and Wonderful Doctor Herod Edinsmaier, have to interact and put up with folks less than himself in stature or status, either one. AmTaham thought his inability to hear well no handicap at all. On the contrary, anyone reasonable could easily understand why another so deaf would, therefore, read all of the time to entertain himself. AmTaham read nearly all of the great authors on the topics of anthropology and culture, ancient history and recorded history, the world’s philosophies and religions, economics, agronomy, animal science, biology and medicine, political science, travel, international relations and foreign policy. And nature. Anything and absolutely everything on Things Natural. Especially on evolution. From hunting and aquaculture in landlocked areas to forestry and water conservation, from weather and precipitation patterns to geological changes and habitat encroachment. Anywhere in the World. He was, bar none, the most progressive farmer in his own county; and on Sundays in my youth when folks took to their weekly afternoon rides around the spring and summer countryside, why, the gravel roads beside AmTaham’s and Mehitable’s fields were almost always the dustiest. AmTaham was the first to plant 30 – inch corn rows and fly in the face of the ages – old system of 40 – inch ones, the width of a workhorse’s ass, of course. That, alone, brought hoards out; but when he insisted on sustainable land practices and the resource management of Ol’ Man’s Creek that ran the entire length of our and many other folks’ farms, why, that really brought them out to have a look – see at what good ol’, quirky AmTaham was up to next. A sort of agronomy barometer he was for the others in the community. AmTaham passionately did not want Mehitable’s and his children attending parochial school either. Every August the local lutheran school principal paid AmTaham and Mehitable a visit to try to convince them to send us four, of course, with tuition that Mr. and Mrs. True would have to come up with, to that specific religious school in the Burg. It wasn’t until just two years before AmTaham passed into Ancestral Status and that certain and so memorable conversation which he and I alone had had while cleaning those paintbrushes, that I realized fully why he was so adamantly against us four children ever submitting ourselves to a private and formal religion – based educational system. Not that I minded one bit! I wholeheartedly did not want to go there. It would have been utterly god – this and god – that, the almighty – this and our good lord and savior – that. Fuck! Anyhow the school itself was also old, staid, had no funky p layground and absolutely, unequivocally, the worst thing of all … no cute boys my age. I knew all of the boys there since I, of course, already attended sunday school and church with all of them; and there were nooooo cute ones, believe me! Besides I was since first grade, the year when all of the country kids finally joined up with the town kids after our having been separated throughout kindergarten into the morning group and the afternoon gang, fervently faithful to Larry; and Larry was, ah, umm, O JYeah, Larry was presbyterian. So. The last thing I wanted to do was go to that religious school and miss out on Larry; and, of course, every year I thought it was a matter of tuition money and the fact that AmTaham and Mehitable believed the public school uptown to be a much better one for obtaining an actual education that AmTaham always kindly turned down the pastoral principal and showed him the door after their politely partaking of something together like mocha cake and coffee. No, the True kids wouldn’t be enrolling next week, nope. I never knew until my early 40s and that wonderful conversation over turpentine, scrub water and leftover paint in the condo basement on Havencourt Avenue why we, all of us four, throughout every single elementary grade and junior high and high school levels, always, always went to public school. * * * * Loyal, compassionate and feminist would have to be the last three adjectives I would use to singly characterize AmTaham True. The man had three daughters. At no time in my recent nor remote memory of him, not even one time, do I know him to have made a vulgar, let alone, sexist comment, done an objectifying deed or initiated or participated in any blatant or subtle acts of female suppression including humor or the many, many forms of pornography. How dare he – and call himself … father? Morally, how dare he?" +++++ +++++ "And so this is ... ...SOLSTICE !" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8Vfp48laS8